Glamor in the Desert

Today I got ready for work, just like I always do. After taking a shower, I put moisterizer and sunblock on my face to get rid of wrinkles and protect my skin from UV rays; I massaged gel baby oil onto my legs so my skin would stay smooth and silky; I conditioned my hair and then applied foam to shape curls and hair spray to hold the style; I covered my arms with body lotion so my elbows would stay soft; and I touched up my toes with one new coat of bright red polish. Then I stepped out of my bunk into a 125 degree sandstorm with winds blowing at least 25 miles an hour. It was almost impossible to see, breath or walk. I arrived at work approximately 6 minutes later, looking like a mud-encrusted Don King.