Can You Spell W-T-F?

I went to the beauty shop to get my roots touched up yesterday. (Now you and my hairdresser know for sure.) It was pretty crowded because we have a lot of troops coming through Camp Virginia, in and out of theater. Here is my recollection of what I overheard during the 60 or so minutes that I was there. Please note that all of these conversations were between and among men.
A troop having his eyebrows threaded: "Please be careful. My skin is very sensative. Ow. That hurts. Please, can you be more gentle."
A troop (male) inquiring: "I'd like to get a bikini wax." The proprietor explained that they will wax backs and chests, but no bikini waxes. "I'm going home in a couple of days. Do you know anywhere on base I can get a bikini wax." The proprietor said that he did not know any place on base that does bikini waxes. The guy says, "Is there any way I can get y'all to give me a bikini wax?"
A troop getting a facial: "What is that? What are you doing?" It was steam. After the facial he said it was sort of weird, but his buddy says, "Hey man. You're glowing!" The guy is like, "Really! That is so cool! I'm going to have another facial when I get home."
I overheard one troop getting a pedicure, but there was a problem because his feet were too big to fit in the little bath pan.

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We have free phone calls at the USO + Yesterday was Mothers' Day = All Heck Breaks Loose. (Did I mention that it's been pretty crowded because we have a lot of troops coming through Camp Virginia?) The wait time for 30-minute phone calls during the day wasn't too bad. That's because when it's during the day here it's the middle of the night in the States. However, around our dinner time which is just after church time on the East Coast the crowds got ridiculous. We opened up the phone in USO office and the one behind the desk and we cut the talk time from 30 minutes to 20 minutes. Even though we had 6 phones available (18 calls every 60 minutes), we had a 3+ hour wait list. Unfortunately some of the troops were not particularly gracious. "I got here before him, why is he on before me?" (Because he put his name in before you did.) "I've been waiting an hour, why hasn't my name been called?" (Because there's a three hour wait; one hour is not three hours.) "The other guy said I was number four on the list." (I'm sorry, according to the computer, you have eighteen people in front of you.) "Where am I on the list?" "How long do I have to wait?" "Why didn't you call my name?" "How many people are in front of me?" (People, if you'd stop asking me where your name is on the list, I could take care of the people asking to be put on the list and then I can keep track of the phones and call your name sooner!) BTW - This is a free service that the USO is providing for your benefit. You don't have to be so freakin' rude. ahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Mothers' Day is not my favorite day at the USO. Thank heavens today is my day off. Can't wait until fa la la la la la freakin' Christmas. Oops. Sorry. I didn't mean to say that out loud.